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Wednesday, 24 April 2013

noah and me



This was at Lawrence Weston Community Farm a couple of weeks ago ~ Smiler was watching the goats, trying to push his hat up a little because it was pressing on his glasses.  Noah knew I was taking pictures, and kept making faces ~ I think he was trying to put me off!    Petal ~ well, I have a feeling this is a glimpse into her future, and I'll see this expression very very often once she's crossed that bridge to  Teenage~dom...

Out of the three, it's Noah that stumps me.

I have struggled to be what he needs me to be, so I don't often get to see this playful side of him, this wonderfully innocent child, full of the joy of making mischief.  To be completely honest, it makes me sad to think of Noah coming to the end of those years of hugs and chocolate~y faces ~ I feel like I should have done more of the fun stuff with him, and I worry that as he grows he'll look back on these early years and all he'll remember of me is the shouting and telling off, so that's who I'll be to him.

Noah and I ~ I'm not sure quite how we got to this point with one another, and I'm not sure how to fix it.  Have any of you ever struggled to have a positive relationship with one of your kids?

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