My word of the week is 'conclusions'.
It's all about how quickly people can jump to them.
1. The close or last part; the end or finish.
2. The result or outcome of an act or process.
3. A judgment or decision reached after deliberation. See Synonyms at decision.
4. A final arrangement or settlement, as of a treaty.
5. Abbr. con. Law The close of a plea or deed.
a. The proposition that must follow from the major and minor premises in a syllogism.
b. The proposition concluded from one or more premises; a deduction.
I actually have a favourite jumping to conclusions quote :
"I didn't jump to conclusions, I took a teeny tiny step, and there conclusions were".
I hit something on route to the floor this week, and now, a couple of days later, I look like this :
I feel a bit sorry for Mr Manley - being 6'2" and walking around holding hands with someone whose face looks like that - well, as you can imagine, he has been the unfortunate recipient of more than just a couple of nasty looks!
I have been approached in women's toilets twice, offering information and advice and help for me to find a safer situation.
Much like when he accidentally shut my hand in the kitchen door and all but chopped off one of my fingers, many people seem to have jumped to the conclusion that I must be being abused by my husband.
In case anyone out there is wondering, no, I'm not. With my history there is no way on earth I would continue a relationship that was in any way abusive.
In a way, I find it oddly reassuring that people have the courage to approach someone they think needs help, and offer that help. As with the finger incident, while I don't need the support I'm being offered, this renews my faith in humanity, in that hopefully other women who insist they love their husbands very much and of course he didn't hurt me are also being offered support.
But the other conclusions.
The issues between Mr Manley's father and stepmother, and Mr M and I have ... well, worsened. Long story short, they are unable to deal with Smiler. I'll blog it all properly another time, but we have been being exceedingly polite to one another since February, but for some reason, Mr Manley's sister sent a very sharply worded text just after christmas, instructing us to apologise to her father, or else "I want nothing more to do with you". Okay. We suggested (actually very politely) that she should perhaps hear both sides, but no.
So we wrote a letter, saying we didn't want to discuss that, but if she could text or ring with a day her and her daughter could come over for tea with us and the kids, that would be great, but if we didn't hear from her with a couple of days we would assume she was sticking to her guns.
Then Mr Manley's mum phoned, leaving two not very polite messages on the answer phone, and then got hold of us on Mr M's mobile. Not a happy call. Twenty minutes of shouting at us, and then she hung up.
So we are now (as far as I can work out) persona non grata to his mum and step dad; his dad or step mum; and his sister.
Which leads to the conclusions bit.
Rather than either staying out of it and remaining Switzerland, his sister assumed (without having spoken to us about it or even being prepared to listen afterwards) that we were in the wrong.
She then phoned her mum, who also assumed that we were in the wrong.
Are we that unlikeable?
Our thinking is that if they were so willing to think so badly of us without even considering that listening to the other side might be a good idea, then they clearly didn't care that much in the first place.
Which is a shame.
Easy to jump to.