Friday, 10 January 2014

Word of the Week : Week Two

My word of the week is 'conclusions'.
It's all about how quickly people can jump to them.

con·clu·sion   (kn-klzhn)

1. The close or last part; the end or finish.
2. The result or outcome of an act or process.
3. A judgment or decision reached after deliberation. See Synonyms at decision.
4. A final arrangement or settlement, as of a treaty.
5. Abbr. con. Law The close of a plea or deed.
6. Logic
a. The proposition that must follow from the major and minor premises in a syllogism.
b. The proposition concluded from one or more premises; a deduction.

I actually have a favourite jumping to conclusions quote :
 "I didn't jump to conclusions, I took a teeny tiny step, and there conclusions were".


I hit something on route to the floor this week, and now, a couple of days later, I look like this :

I know.

I feel a bit sorry for Mr Manley - being 6'2" and walking around holding hands with someone whose face looks like that - well, as you can imagine, he has been the unfortunate recipient of more than just a couple of nasty looks!

I have been approached in women's toilets twice, offering information and advice and help for me to find a safer situation.

Much like when he accidentally shut my hand in the kitchen door and all but chopped off one of my fingers, many people seem to have jumped to the conclusion that I must be being abused by my husband.

In case anyone out there is wondering, no, I'm not.  With my history there is no way on earth I would continue a relationship that was in any way abusive.

In a way, I find it oddly reassuring that people have the courage to approach someone they think needs help, and offer that help.  As with the finger incident, while I don't need the support I'm being offered, this renews my faith in humanity, in that hopefully other women who insist they love their husbands very much and of course he didn't hurt me are also being offered support.  


But the other conclusions.

The issues between Mr Manley's father and stepmother, and Mr M and I have ... well, worsened.  Long story short, they are unable to deal with Smiler.  I'll blog it all properly another time, but we have been being exceedingly polite to one another since February, but for some reason, Mr Manley's sister sent a very sharply worded text just after christmas, instructing us to apologise to her father, or else "I want nothing more to do with you".  Okay.  We suggested (actually very politely) that she should perhaps hear both sides, but no.  

So we wrote a letter, saying we didn't want to discuss that, but if she could text or ring with a day her and her daughter could come over for tea with us and the kids, that would be great, but if we didn't hear from her with a couple of days we would assume she was sticking to her guns.

Then Mr Manley's mum phoned, leaving two not very polite messages on the answer phone, and then got hold of us on Mr M's mobile.  Not a happy call.  Twenty minutes of shouting at us, and then she hung up.  

Oh dear.

So we are now (as far as I can work out) persona non grata to his mum and step dad; his dad or step mum; and his sister.

Which leads to the conclusions bit.

Rather than either staying out of it and remaining Switzerland, his sister assumed (without having spoken to us about it or even being prepared to listen afterwards) that we were in the wrong.

She then phoned her mum, who also assumed that we were in the wrong.

Are we that unlikeable?

That unreasonable?

Our thinking is that if they were so willing to think so badly of us without even considering that listening to the other side might be a good idea, then they clearly didn't care that much in the first place.

Which is a shame.


So, conclusions.

Easy to jump to.

But not necessarily accurate.


The Reading Residence



  1. Sounds like the perfect word for your troubles this week. It is nice to think that people care when they see you bruised, though I feel sorry for your husband! And it sounds like you've drawn the right 'conclusions' about your family, too. Hope you eye gets better soon. Thanks for linking up with #WotW

    1. I know what you mean - hopefully there are women out there (and men) who are getting hurt are also getting access to the support they need because of others jumping to conclusions.
      #WotD - same time next week!
      Take care

  2. How horrible for your husband to get all those nasty looks and how horrible for you to get a black eye.
    My second daughter was born with a club foot and had to have an operation as a new baby, she had to wear a full length plaster cast that was changed every week for 7 months, whenever I went out with her I would get the most disgusting looks from people jumping to hideous conclusions. #WotW

    1. Thank you for reading, and for taking the time to comment! Until we work out a way to stop the seizures (which is not looking hopeful so far - have had probably just under 300 over the last three years), the bumps on the head and black eyes are likely to stay as fairly regular occurrence!
      I know exactly what you mean about the looks when your daughter was in casdt - my son Smiler (who has complex health conditions as well as as range of learning issues) had major surgery age 8 to resolve bi-lat ddh, and was in broomsticks for almost two months - the number of people who asked how he managed to break both legs at the same time!
      Conclusions again!
      Take care

  3. A perfect word for the week you've had, hope your eye is getting better - and it is reassuring that people would make the effort to speak to you, but your poor husband! #WotW

    1. It's finally looking better each morning, instead of looking worse! Thanks for taking a moment to comment Sara - It is much appreciated. And with any luck, my next word of the week post will be a bit more positive!
      Take care

  4. Poor Mr Manley and poor you, that looks painful. x

    1. Hi Andi, thank you for reading, as well as for the sympathy! Luckily I tend to sleep for three or four hours after a fit, so I think I probably managed to snooze through the worst bit!
      Take care


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