I'm finding things difficult at the moment, which is the reason for the radio silence. I often find March hard going - my father's birthday, as well as my brother's, as well as Mother's Day, all in one month - I always get kind of pensive. And then I get pissed off that I'm pensive. Especially as it is also Noah's and Mr Manley's birthdays this month too. And then I get pissed off that I'm pissed off. So you can see how this goes.
I think Mother's Day is the big one for me - raises bucketloads of I'm crap at this thinking, and the lower I get, the worse mother that makes me. The more taking care of me Mr Manley has to do, the less time and energy he had for the kids, so not only do I fail then as a parent, I also eat into the single biggest, most important positive thing that they have - an enthusiastic and loving and consistent dad. And I don't know how to fix that.